ay-up, the name’s Bill – Bill Barley. Cop a load of this:
How tall am I? 50-60cm
How many stems do I have? 25
What colour am I? It’s all natural, love
Where do I come from?
Eurasia – which is what Europe and Asia used to be around ten thousand years ago – interesting, hey? Me on me own like, I’m from nearer by. It’s the family that’s from far afield – they call themselves Hordeum Vulgare but barley sounds fine to me.
What do I look like?
It depends if you make me into beer or not! Love a pint, me. Hopefully you’ll let me stick around as I am – I’d say I’m not too short, not too tall. Got some great, long whiskers and my grains are the neatest you’ll see.
What do I feel like?
Someone once said it was like stroking horse hair and I can see that – right majestic and smooth like.
What will I be wearing?
Only the best for a beauty like you! I’ll iron out my best tissue paper, squeeze into my kraft paper and find meself a decent box. None of this plastic malarky.